Porridge with cream

More than two years after his release from jail, Jonathan Aitken is fast rebuilding his life, to say nothing of his finances. For the former Tory Cabinet minister, stepping out these days with new girlfriend Elizabeth Harris, has just signed on with the top after-dinner speaking agency Speakers UK. Hiring himself out at the ultra-reasonable rate of up to £5,000 a go, Aitken is offering clients a variety of subjects, ranging from “Power to Porridge: a Journey through Prison” to “The Lighter Side of Politics and Prison”.

“Jonathan’s PA approached us a couple of months ago, and shortly after that he joined us exclusively,” says a spokesman for Speakers UK. “We were delighted to accept him, as he’s a posh version of Nick Leeson, who’s one of our most popular clients. Of course, to start with he’ll get far less than Leeson, as we’re just trying to establish him at present.”